Bittersweet – October 2016

With October being over, and the rush it came with, I have had a few days to reflect on the past whirlwind of a month. What a whirlwind it was!!

There was alot of changes in our little family this month which brought with it a trail of emotions I wasn’t quite prepared for.

JP left one job and started another. The period in between the change (although short) was a very stressful one for me, but the stress was good for me, it taught me a lesson. JP was unemployed for a total of 4 days (2 of them being the weekend) and within those four days my stress levels skyrocketed and those that know me well will tell you that means my temper and mood go with it, I was short and impatient with everyone around me, I was worrying about bills to pay that were still months away, in a nutshell I was so wrapped up in my “needs” that I overlooked the effect I had on those around me. When JP started his new job (which he loves and is much better for him as a person than the old one) I was reminded of a scripture quote “Oh ye of little faith”. I was looking at this “mountain” of a problem in front of me and trying to solve it all on my own like I didn’t need any help from above. How mistaken I was! I learned a valuable lesson, one that I am still trying daily to apply. The bigger picture of our lives is there, grand, glorious and perfectly planned but it is not for us to see, we need to develop the faith of a child in our omnipotent Father.

We moved house….. not my favorite past time in the least! The adjustment has been far better than I was expecting taking into consideration that we went from a three bedroomed house with a massive garden and a large kitchen to a two bedroom flat with a not so massive garden and small kitchen….. I was foreseeing a couple of issues you could say…. I thought the kids were going to be so frustrated sharing a room and having restricted playing space…. I was convinced I would have to keep half my kitchen stuff in boxes and I was positive that the kid’s beds wouldn’t fit into the second bedroom. I am so grateful that none of these potential issues became problems! The kids are so happy in their new home, ALL of my kitchen stuff fits in my little kitchen like a glove and both beds fit perfectly in the second bedroom and the kids are only too content sharing a room. This little house has quickly become our home sweet home where the only adjustment we are still getting used to is having to wait in a mini que to use the toilet in the morning…..

We changed wards…… this one was probably the scariest….when we moved the new house fell into the Krugersdorp 2nd ward boundaries. I loved Krugersdorp 1st Ward, they were my extended family and the thought of “leaving them behind” was heartbreaking. Ok so maybe I am being a bit dramatic…. I still see the members of K1 in passing because we meet in the same building just at different times. We attended our first Sunday in K2 it was a fast and testimony meeting. I was very emotional for some reason but I enjoyed it nonetheless. The biggest change for me personally was attending Relief Society instead of Young Women, I really do miss my girls.  We had a thought-provoking lesson on being prepared. How prepared are you? Physically, Mentally, Financially, Spiritually, Emotionally? Answering these can be overwhelming for most of us and thinking of the possibilities are scary but we are given a promise by a loving Heavenly Father who ALWAYS keeps His promises “but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear.” Although I am by no means 100% prepared in all those aspects ( I don’t think one can ever be 100% prepared for the un-expectancies of life) I do take comfort in the fact that as long as I am working towards that goal my family and I will be protected and looked after.

So those were my major changes that October brought and through all of that we had our annual audit done at work (no audit it pleasant) and I wrote my final FM finance exam. Like I said a whirlwind month of note… but most of all the emotion that rattled me the most the that of missing my Dad, not being able to talk to him about my fears, hopes, and dreams and  not having his calm reassuring unconditional love around me. I missed you, dad, I still miss you, every single day, it’s been 3 and half months and still not even slightly easier.