This has been without a doubt the hardest part of my life so far and yet it has been such a spiritual growth spurt for me all at the same time! I could so clearly identify the hand of our perfect, loving Heavenly Father in every moment of this storm. This is also by far the hardest blog post I have written, hence it took me so long, but here it goes…..
The lessons I learned are in italics throughout the post in blue
Wednesday, 21 July 2016, an ordinary day, so routine some might say it was quite mundane and boring. I went to work, kids went to school. My mom was off sick at home and so Tiara got dropped off at my parents’ house for the afternoon, she had fun she says, she watched movies with Oupa and played outside, that evening I went and picked up Tiara and Taigen was so determined to say hello to Nana and Oupa. Jarryd (my brother) took him upstairs while I stayed in the car. Jarryd asked me if he could come spend the night at my house, he just wanted a change of company and scenery, this by-the-way, was completely out of character for him, it wasn’t even a half an hour later and I was off again, on my way to my house with Tiara, Taigen and Jarryd for the night leaving my mom and dad for a “date night with Castle”
Later that night I had such trouble sleeping, I kept tossing and turning for no apparent reason, getting quite frustrated at my lack of sleep I got up and changed into a much cooler pair of summer pajamas and got back into bed with a determination to fall asleep now, then it happened….. it was 03:03am on Thursday morning, 22 July 2016, and my cell phone rings, through squinted eyes I check the screen to see who on earth would be phoning me at this time, “Jeanne Andrews” I read and my mouth goes instantly dry.
The next voice I heard was that of my mom, calm but panicked (if that’s even possible) “Don’t panic” she says “but Dad is having a heart attack” I’m sure my mind was in disbelief because she had to repeat that statement a couple of times before I responded. Immediately I was up and dressed in under 10 minutes, I went through to the lounge where my brother was sleeping (he too had a very restless night) I woke him up told him what I knew, which wasn’t very much, and left him at the house while my children slept.
I saw the hand of the Lord here in a big way! Jarryd was at my house exactly when he needed to be so that I was able to leave my children without hesitation or concern and go and help my dad, at first Jarryd felt guilty that he wasn’t at home when it happened to help my mom but in that moment he was exactly where he needed to be and he was a huge blessing to the situation. There are no such things as coincidences!
It was ice-cold outside but I didn’t feel a thing, when I got to my parents’ house my dad was as white as a sheet and he was completely wet from the perspiration. My mom and I quickly got my dad dressed and out the house, this I thought was going to be a challenge, there are 37 stairs to climb down from their house to the car park and my dad couldn’t hold himself up… to support him I went in front of him and he leaned on my shoulders as we went down the stairs, my dad was literally making me run down the steps and with every step I remember pleading with Heavenly Father that I would not lose my balance.
While playing the events of those early hours over in my mind I again could not deny the hand of the Lord in the details of those moments, firstly there was no way I would have physically been able to run down those stairs with the entire weight of my dad on my shoulders and the force of gravity and not lose my balance, then there was also the fact that my mom also got down all those stairs without a pause and in record time. Another tender mercy took place that morning with our car, for months the car had been struggling to change gears when it was cold, it was at a point that we would start the car in second gear and drive real slow till the engine warmed up and then change gears but that morning as icy as it was every gear change went without even a moments hassle, you wouldn’t say the gears had ever given problems.
We got to the hospital, my dad was seen by the doctor on duty in casualty and they started working immediately, I contacted my home teacher, Deryn Venski, and he came straight away and gave my dad a priesthood administration and blessing. They struggled for a long time to get a blood pressure reading and when they finally did it was 47/20 and his blood sugar was 36.1. Clinically he should have been dead, but he wasn’t, he was actually talking to us and was able to describe what he was feeling.
After some time he was stabilised and moved to the medical ward, that afternoon he was sitting up and looked his normal happy self, I had the opportunity to visit with him and he shared with me his experience from that morning, he said that all through the events he pleading and begging Father that his life would be spared this time so that his family could prepare themselves.
That was my dad, even on what seemed to be his death-bed he had no thought whatsoever for himself his prayers were for his family.
The days that followed was very much up and down with his condition and they seemed to go by in a blur for the family. I had a few very special moments with my dad that
I had a few very special moments with my dad that I will forever hold in my heart. I got to rub his back and shoulders for him while he rested his head on my chest, his hand gently tapping my leg in appreciation, I got to fill his water bottles for him over and over again, I got to help him move from one side of the bed to the other and fix his blankets and pillows.
It was in these moments that I learned and got to feel the depth of my Saviours love for me personally and for each and every one of us. I discovered that the truest form of love is service. That is what the Saviours entire life was about and that is all he ever did he just served others, why? Because he loved them! To really serve someone you need to love them in a way that overlooks their circumstances, appearances, and everything worldly, it is a feeling that made manifest by your actions. It is easy to serve those you love, it comes naturally. We are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves, how is this possible? We need to serve! All the time!
The product of Christlike love is service and the product of Christlike service is love! I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to be of service to my dad and in doing so learn this valuable lesson in my life!
Sunday, 24 July 09:35am – The dreaded phone call from the hospital came…. “Mr. Andrews has taken a turn, you need to come” We were at church at the time, my mom, brother and I left with Bishop De Beer and we went to the hospital. My dad did not look in good shape, he had stopped breathing and was fighting the oxygen mask, as I stroked his head to try calm him down I had the impression to sing to him, he loved music, so there I was in a room that should have been, and probably was chaotic, with our heads resting against each other and I was signing gently into my dad’s ear :
“I am a child of God, and he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me, walked beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.
As I sang his breathing slowed and he stopped fighting the oxygen. At that moment there was a connection like no other between heaven and earth, father and daughter, parent and child. A sense of peace filled my entire body, a sense of overwhelming assurance that EVERYTHING is in control and ALL IS WELL!
He was given a blessing by Bishop De Beer and President Krauss (Stake President of the Roodepoort, South Africa Stake)
Then we sat and waited outside in the hallway while the doctor worked. He tried his best with the resources he had available but sadly my dad passed away at 11:15am.
Were their tears? Many of them!!!! Crocodile tears in fact, but there was peace, there was comfort, and there was an undeniable assurance of the eternal perspective.
Our parting was not a goodbye it was until we meet again!
In an instant the testimony I knew I had about the Plan of Salvation became a rock solid conversion, I knew it and I believed it! It became so real to me, I could not and can never again question that doctrine taught to us from the very foundations of primary.
Needless to say the days just got busier from there, funeral arrangements and all those legalities are not for the faint heart let me tell you!
On Wednesday after most of the arrangements had been finalized and the hustle and bustle had settled my mom and I went to the temple. We had a truly lovely experience, as one always does in the temple, but this time there was a tangible spirit there, it brought much-needed peace and rest in the Lord to both my mom and I.
The funeral service was held on Friday, 29 July 2016 at the Krugersdorp Chapel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a service that personified my dad to a tee!
Elder Daniel H. Hall, an area seventy for the Africa South East Area presided at the service and was the concluding speaker (as my dad would say about that “that was SO cool!”) Sister Mandy Erasmus, a remarkable lady and one of my dad’s (and families) dearest friends gave the opening talk, she hit the nail on the head with every word she spoke and Bishop De Beer was the second speaker. The hymns we sang we some of my dad’s favorites we started off with How Firm a Foundation (85) (we sang all 7 verses, the last verse was my dads favorite) then we sang Come, Come, Ye Saints (30) (my dad loved this song so much, especially the “happy days” part) and we closed with Let the Holy Spirit Guide (143) because this is exactly the way my dad lead his life on earth.
So traumatic as this experience has been I have felt a sense of closeness to my Saviour and Redeemer. The love that He has for me as an individual has been burned into my soul and again the testimony that I have of the truthfulness of the restored and everlasting gospel shines brighter than it ever has.
I KNOW that God lives…. and I KNOW that He loves me!!!!!
ShellyB - Gr8Ful Me 